I climbed onto a plane for a 9.5 hour return flight home to Alaska. It was not expected. I was uncertain of what would happen over the course of the next week.
I still am uncertain.
"Living is a form of not being sure, not knowing what next or how. The moment you know how, you begin to die a little. The artist never entirely knows. We guess. We may be wrong, but we take leap after leap in the dark."
Agens De Mille
"Life is like stepping into a boat that is about to sail out to sea and sink."
Shunryu Susuki Roshi
What is certain is, I am home with Izzy. What is certain is, I do not know what is next.
I do know that she is comforted by my presence and I do know that insecurity arises in me when I see her physical conditions change in front of me.
She is sleeping a lot, but she asked to go out this afternoon and she had a calm about her.
Unfortunately I want to know what next, isn't that our human nature? However, I am trying to accept the uncertainty and be present to information Izzy is sharing with me.
Jupiter and I appreciate Izzy's calm presence and we will listen and watch for her needs moment by moment, day by day.
" As human beings we share a tendency to scramble for certainty whenever we realize that everything around us is in flux. In difficult times the stress of trying to find solid ground-something predictable and safe to stand on- seems to intensify. But in truth, the very nature of our existence is forever in flux. Everything keeps changing, whether we're aware of it or not."
Pema Chodron
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