I love my baggage

Mom and Dad. My parents. 

When I talk about my parents I find myself thinking of all my friends who do not have their parents physically on this Earth. All my friends whose parents have died during their life time-some young, some old.

I think about all my friends who have experienced the grief of a sudden loss. I think about all my friends who have, with patience and angst , supported a parent or loved one through a terminal illness or condition. 

It is almost like a non-denominational- open ended- free spirited breath of acknowledgement that enters my body anytime I speak the words, "my mom or my dad"- This grounding breath is taken for all those friends who have had their parents and loved ones come and go - already- in their short life time- leaving 

a 

hole.

My heart sends you love.

I just had 10 days with my parents and my husband here in our home in Alaska. I am going to be as honest as I can about these 10 days - without embarrassing anyone close to me.

First thought  when these 10 days ended  was... when will I get ten days just like this again?

My mind was calm, my body relaxed, my days full and my life balance was very in tact.

Spending mornings sipping coffee waiting for the light and temperatures to rise, going to the gym, walking the trails, discussing emotional and financial decisions in life, standing in the kitchen snacking on what our belly desired, cozy time in PJ's debriefing the day, health- yup honest and open talks about our health....

I reflect on the past 10 days and am not sure who else in my life - other than a handful of people I feel that comfortable just BEING MYSELF WITH.

The reality that these two people wear the "parent hat" is unique because parents - like it or not- come with a lot of baggage- even when they don't travel to Alaska. "Family" and "baggage" are almost interchangeable words in many of my stories. 

For example "I am going back to Maine to visit my baggage (family) or My baggage (family) is coming to visit. I need to go get gifts for my family (baggage) back East.

I am very close with my older siblings (Baggage).

This is all said with love and humor. Baggage doesn't have to be a bad thing, especially if it is small like a carry on, or has wheels. It is almost like we get smarter with how to handle our baggage (family), the more time we have on this Earth.

So my parents just left a day ago and the tears that shed from these eyes - all the way home from the airport and into the evening hours-were wholesome-deep- and rooted.

  I felt a content sadness. It was not unrealistic grief . It was not an ungrounded fear. It was not homesickness. My parents are older and  have a limited life- we all do. 

I was going to miss these two people - a lot! I had a wonderful time with them. I have had 46 years of wonderful times with them... and I guess I just want as much  (wonderful times) as I can get at this point in our lives.

They were leaving my presence. And when they are not in my presence, we do not have the  same deep connection. I loved our connections- over coffee, over dinner, in the car, standing in the kitchen, walking the trails...

So Mom and Dad-I want you to know how thankful I was to celebrate your presence this November. You are two very special people to Skip and I. 

I actually think you are way better than a monogrammed carry-on with wheels!